Ch. 4
Paralanguage: I find that this concept is most intriguing. I feel as though I somehow knew about this concept before but was never given the essential tools to know how to use it. Paralanguage involves being able to mirror the same body language and spoken language back to the person. These things include: posture, gesture, inflection, pitch, volume, rate a speech, language choices and breathing. I would have thought before that if a person was frantic about a problem they were having it would be better to respond with calmness rather than matching their frantic behaviors. I am interested to see if I will be able to respond to my mentees in this way.
I am finding the mediative questioning section to be very insightful and practical. The questions in which we are suggested to try will help the mentees get to that place where they can draw their own conclusions. It will be important to ask in plurals (ex. goalS, ideaS, outcomeS, and alternativeS), words that express tentativeness (might, may, or hunch) as well as using invitational stems that will encourage your mentee to continue to think about a solution (As you think about..., as you consider...).
"Mediators are clear about their purposes and intentionally employ certain verbal and nonverbal tools with others to help transform and empower their cognitive functioning" (p. 91). The smallest tool in the tool box is the most important. While we need the power drill and the the hammer, the stud finder will be the most helpful in hanging the shelf on the wall. We need to be attentive to our mentees needs and not our own. We will need to be able to step outside of ourselves and be a reflecting mirror so that they can see the solutions without anyone telling them to do so.
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